Relationship…

Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
Mike Murdock

I heard this quote on one of the episodes of Criminal Minds. And this made me think that this is not just a quote by some person but in fact a truth. We, as humans, are blinded by so-called relationships. We see what we intend to believe and ignore what is in plain sight. Probably this is because we are conditioned to believe that in love and relationships, everything is about adjustment. But we fail to see that two different persons come together to make a relationship. Why is then, in a relationship one person is missing? Now purists would abhor me for this but my question still remains the same. If relationship is going to be about one person then why is another person required at all?

Two persons, two different upbringings, two different environments where they grew up, two different aspirations & ambitions, come together to be in a relationship. Now the relationship either nurtures a strength or weakness within you. Let’s consider negatives first. We see all those abusive relationships. I will leave that out of this discussion as they are in whole different sphere. Let’s see those relationships where arguments arise for things like career, household chores after a heavy day at work, and so on. Persons shout on each other and forget that they love each other. Ultimately, the love is gone, person becomes selfish, and relationship is broken. So what happened? The relationship nurtured the weakness of taking things for granted, of being emotionally dependent on others, and of forgetting that two individuals are present.

Lets take the positives. Two people, entirely different in every aspect, respect each others aspirations and ambitions, come together to start a relationship. Difficult times come but they sail through them and relationship gets stronger. So what happened? The relationship nurtured the strength of the persons. They were able to grow as individuals. They were able to see, understand, and respect that there are two different persons present in the relationship. So, I pray to God to help me in not forgetting who I am as a person and in not forgetting that other person is different. i pray to God to help me in respecting mine and the other person’s “unlikeness in all aspects” and working towards a strong and mature relationship. Amen.

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Marriage…..

So I was promised by a friend for a rendezvous but last-minute cancellations by my friend just spoiled everything. I planned an elaborate three-day journey and now since my friend is not coming, I don’t know what to do. As i had planned so elaborately, I am now feeling so empty in my head. With nothing in my to-do list, I resorted to being lazy and watching the idiot box, catching up all shows. But then one of my friends anxiously messages me that parents are looking for marriage alliance. Though it got all sorted after my oration, i kept wondering what is that makes the word marriage so scary and anxious about.

Marriage.!! A very important thing in life?? Just another relationship?? Love or arranged?? Should one get married by certain age? I don’t think so. So when is the time to get married? I don’t know. How should one know who is the right one?? So many questions. In India, marriage is something of societal status. A lot of seriousness and responsibilities are attached to marriage. And this makes marriage a very expensive relationship with no way out. Even with lot of modernism creeping in the society, especially in urban areas, there still some age-old thoughts are attached to marriage. Most of my friends, who have arranged marriages, go with these thoughts only. Now most of the friends, who have love marriages, have different thoughts same as mine.

For me, marriage is definitely a relationship with a bit more of commitment and bit of more adjustment. Marriage should have with a person with whom one wants to spend the rest of their life. Wake up every morning to see a new day and go through the life struggles, happiness, sorrows, and success together. Come back to home after a day’s hard work to a person who with a smile will just whoosh away the tiredness. Of course, all said is easy than done. And then there are many struggles that come in one’s life.  But when you have made a decision to love the person and to be with the person all through your life, life is lot more livable and enjoyable.