Lavanya Opines

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My addictions..

Drug addiction. Alcohol addiction. Women addiction. Porn addiction. Sex addiction. There are so many life damaging and life altering addictions. So much has been researched and published about them. So many programs, rehabilitation centers are present to help people to become sober. But I am so away from them. So above them yet so beneath them. The kind of addictions I have, they are type which above the surface seem harmless but beneath the surface, they quietly grip you and suck into darkness. A darkness from which you always come out like you have woken up from a bad dream. Yet damage has been done and life has been altered to a certain degree. Here, I list my addictions after a careful observation of myself by being a mute spectator.

1. Watching idiot box: I become an idiot when I am watching the idiot box. Especially during weekends. I am so sucked into whatever I am watching, that I forget I am watching something. I am just glued to it. Come weekend, and I become a complete idiot. I don’t know why I become such an idiot. If I have to do something, I have to put reminder, switch off the idiot box and do my work. When the idiot box is not behaving idiotically, I am able to gather my self and do something productive on weekends. But then what are weekends for?

2. Over thinking – in both directions: I am piscean. So granted, I am over sensitive. But I over think and keep thinking until I hit a wall and bounce like a ball. Not good for health, especially mental health. Humans, generally use only a small portion of their brains. It seems I abuse more than that in over thinking. But then, its occupational hazard for me not to over think. my job requires me to over think. Everybody in my office does everything “over”.  Negatives wreak my mood and positives make me crazy. But then what is a life without an “over” bit of drama?

3. Giving more: People seek two lines of advice and some lines of solace. I tend to give “more” on both counts. I just feel the flow and flow with it. I forget that I am a person speaking with experience and research I have done so far on various topics (which coincidentally happen to be same topics for which people seek advice and solace), that is actually behind my advice and solace. The reason why people seek my advice in first place. I forget all this after sometime. And I start feeling like I am an individual with shades of Oprah, incarnated on this mortal earth to give mortal some life lessons. Bullshit. I tend to do over everything.  But then who doesn’t want such fame?

What about your addictions? Can you turn them around like I did?



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31st_birthday_I am 30 years now and I am going to be 31 this March. And, believe me, this feels awesome. :). There is a sense of true personal independence and professional satisfaction. Though not in all situations, there is a feeling of maturity whenever I am facing any type of situation. There are a lot of sites which tell you about ‘things you should know when you are 30’ and ‘things you should do when you are 30’. Don’t take these things to heart. These are pointers only. If you don’t know, then get to know them. It’s not a big deal, ladies. :). Ladies, we are at such a new phase of life that reinforces the thought ‘everything is alright in the end, if not then it’s not the end’. This phase only brings happiness as we are not fighting an inner battle with ourselves to accomplish things. We have established a true relationship with ourselves. And we have realized and understood that we are not happy with ourselves then how come we keep our loved ones happy. 🙂

I always wanted to chronicle this moment where I am feeling awesome about myself and am peace with myself. This doesn’t mean that I have accepted the current situation and am not making any further efforts to betterment. This means that I know now how to handle myself and make concentrated efforts to inclusive success – personal and professional. Though I admit there are situations where I get hyper crazy and get super skeptical. 🙂

On the professional front, I feel now that I am at a stage where I am able to showcase my knowledge and skills acquired over so many years. May be this is because I am in my transition period and am finding it very easy to be able to hand over the projects. I have learned a lot of soft skills, which have now become hard skills necessary in the professional world. I also know now how to market myself and what skills to acquire more to be able to succeed. In my twenties, I was constantly worried about the future. But now I have a clear goal and a clear path towards the goal. I have professional friends now who can guide me in my professional success.

On the personal front, I feel I am at the best phase of my life. A precious friend has entered into my life. His presence only makes life special. Apart from that, I am happy and content. I have no qualms about my past. I am secure about my emotional nature. I have no regrets and no hard feelings. But please note that even though I have forgiven, I have not forgotten that my trust was broken and my heart was broken. I have forgiven but I will not allow the people who broke my trust and my heart back into my life. I will not let anybody to walk into my life as if they are walking into a garden. A promise to myself. 🙂 I have a group of girl friends with whom I can gossip everything and who provide much needed support and comfort. I have a soul sister too. I have a group of friends with whom I am able to savour. I have limited friends now but I am happy. I am focusing on my interests and hobbies. I am venturing out to have a new identification outside my profession. I am happy in the body I am in, though I am making efforts to be fit and healthy. I understand importance of religious rituals and being spiritual than being religious:) Oh this is awesome.

There is a balanced perspective about things that matter. Family and work both are important. But what differentiates them is the amount of time I give them. Work takes 9 hours for 5 days. The rest of the time is for myself, my family and friends. Marriage is important, but to be married to a right person is equally important. Biological clock is kicking but kids should happen when your are emotionally happy and stress free.

This is such an awesome phase in my life. I am happy that I am going to be 31. A new phase has begun. All I pray to God is that please shower your blessing on me and give me strength to be face life. Amen. 🙂 Praise Budhha. Embrace this new phase ladies.

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Make the most in Traffic Jams..!!

pix497 Traffic jams have become a part of our daily lives much like mobile phones and especially like smart phones. While going to any place, most of the times, one find themselves stuck in a traffic jam. Getting stuck in a jam is not good and not at all interesting. It is the most frustrating thing in life as you are not moving any where and are stuck in the same place for a long time. Much like most of the situations we face in our lives – stuck in uninteresting job, stuck in tiring relationship, stuck with annoying people, and so on. The only difference with all these situations, is that these situations are not visible to naked eye and we can escape by going out for a walk, doing something that interests us, meditating, or just being silent and sleeping. But we cannot escape from this traffic jam. It is pretty much in front of our eyes and we can see that we cannot do anything to come out of it. But are we sure about it? Come-on, this is life we are talking about. The only place which can work as we want. The only road which is paved as we pave it. The only vehicle which drives as we want to. Confused? Don’t really think so? Let’s see if I can change thought a bit.

I would, like everybody, become so angry and frustrated in traffic jams that I would forget, I could do nothing to come out of this situation. I would panic that I would get late to office or interview venue. Yesterday too, I was stuck in traffic jam both in morning (while going to office) and evening (while coming to office). It was horrible in evening as I took another route since there was lot of traffic in my regular route only to find traffic in this route too. And I had realization. 😛 Why I am getting so worked out and stressing myself in this situation? I definitely cannot reach where I want to on time, so why not just be gentle on myself, and give my tired body and mind a bit of peace. So, here are few things which I did to keep myself happy in this traffic jam.
1. Smile and wave at others: I don’t know why I always want to wave and smile at others who are driving next to me. In morning, I smiled at a woman who was looking helplessly around. I gave her a wide beaming smile. She smiled back but quickly turned the other way round. Probably amazed by a surprising gesture from a stranger. But I felt so happy within me. I made someone smile. Sometime back, I would just wave at all vehicles passing on the opposite side. Some would ignore, some would frown, some would smile, and few would wave back. And I again felt happy. May be at the end of the day, they would also smile and feel happy that someone waved and smiled at them. Just a feel good factor before going to bed after a long hard day.

2. Click selfies and other pictures: O.K. I have a new phone and I’m so fond of clicking my selfies. So what. Flaunt your new phone to yourself. Enough of flaunting to others. Make faces. Sit in different posters. Click and find yourself laughing. If possible, ask somebody else to take your pictures. Make a small conversation to make them click. At the most, they will frown, ignore, and reject. At the least, they will oblige. Whatever is the result, you will find yourself out of this traffic jam and be in a place where people happily do crazy things together. And yep, please maintain etiquette. May be at the end of the day, they would also smile when they remember this crazy thing. And yes, if you are having an urge to take photographs of others, please seek permission before hand.

3. Read a book: The book which you have bought but have not yet found the time to read after the first chapter. Why not read it now. I always have a book in my car but I never read it. Yesterday, I read it. And felt so happy that at least I moved forward. Interestingly, I found someone else also doing the same. I am not the only crazy person here. 😛

4. Get out and stretch your muscles: In the evening, I got struck near railway crossing. As with railway crossing, one has to wait. There is no way to move forward. And my legs were paining with the constant clutch-brake step work. I saw a lot of people moving. I too jumped out of the car, locked it, and started walking and slightly stretching my tired leg muscles. Believe me, it was a relief.

5. Go for shopping: O.K. This is strictly for places where you have shops on sides of the road. Near railway crossing, there is a fruit and vegetable market. People got down and brought things. Some bought just to kill time by eating fruits. Health in disguise. :). I don’t personally like fruits that much. I would have shopped if there were some accessory shops. 😛

6. Inform that you will be late: One thing I observed is that I panic in traffic jam because I said to some one I will be on time and yet I won’t be on time because I am stuck in traffic jam. Now I realized, getting panic attacks won’t teleport me where I want to reach. So why take stress? I just informed office and let myself loose. Even while going for an interview and while we have started 2 hours earlier still we are stuck, remind yourself it’s not your fault. Inform and let things go on their own. Just relax. You would anyway reach late and by getting panic attacks you won’t achieve much either.

All these little things make me happy. Hope they would do to you also. After all, if we are not happy, how can the day progress smoothly. Lets be good to ourselves first and love ourselves first, and then worry about others later. 🙂

P.S.: I drive myself. But even if anybody is in public transport or car pooling, you can also use some of these tips and make yourself happy.
P.P.S.: I also found below two links for more tips. Read them. Follow them. Enjoy them. And be happy.

Photo Source: Google