Lavanya Opines


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My addictions..

Drug addiction. Alcohol addiction. Women addiction. Porn addiction. Sex addiction. There are so many life damaging and life altering addictions. So much has been researched and published about them. So many programs, rehabilitation centers are present to help people to become sober. But I am so away from them. So above them yet so beneath them. The kind of addictions I have, they are type which above the surface seem harmless but beneath the surface, they quietly grip you and suck into darkness. A darkness from which you always come out like you have woken up from a bad dream. Yet damage has been done and life has been altered to a certain degree. Here, I list my addictions after a careful observation of myself by being a mute spectator.

1. Watching idiot box: I become an idiot when I am watching the idiot box. Especially during weekends. I am so sucked into whatever I am watching, that I forget I am watching something. I am just glued to it. Come weekend, and I become a complete idiot. I don’t know why I become such an idiot. If I have to do something, I have to put reminder, switch off the idiot box and do my work. When the idiot box is not behaving idiotically, I am able to gather my self and do something productive on weekends. But then what are weekends for?

2. Over thinking – in both directions: I am piscean. So granted, I am over sensitive. But I over think and keep thinking until I hit a wall and bounce like a ball. Not good for health, especially mental health. Humans, generally use only a small portion of their brains. It seems I abuse more than that in over thinking. But then, its occupational hazard for me not to over think. my job requires me to over think. Everybody in my office does everything “over”. ┬áNegatives wreak my mood and positives make me crazy. But then what is a life without an “over” bit of drama?

3. Giving more: People seek two lines of advice and some lines of solace. I tend to give “more” on both counts. I just feel the flow and flow with it. I forget that I am a person speaking with experience and research I have done so far on various topics (which coincidentally happen to be same topics for which people seek advice and solace), that is actually behind my advice and solace. The reason why people seek my advice in first place. I forget all this after sometime. And I start feeling like I am an individual with shades of Oprah, incarnated on this mortal earth to give mortal some life lessons. Bullshit. I tend to do over everything. ┬áBut then who doesn’t want such fame?

What about your addictions? Can you turn them around like I did?