I was angry with my mother last week. I did not want to get my matrimonial pictures clicked. They always, always make me look ‘too fat’. Yes, the phrase is ‘too fat’ and not ‘healthy’. I never understood the concept of these pictures. And each time I get angry and frustrated. And in this commotion, in my heart and in my life, I always lose something. In this instant case, I lost my wallet. As with everybody, my wallet has all important documents. I did not realize the same until morning when I was rushing for my office. I was angry. Angry not just for the lost wallet but also because I was made to go to photographer and as a result I lost my wallet. I was furious for so many things I don’t even know why and can’t explain why. I didn’t talk much but I banged the door. I wanted to bang it really very hard but somehow I banged it in controlled manner. In the night, I blasted some but still in controlled manner. In the morning, I got to know I left my wallet in the car driven by our family friend-uncle, who in the first place suggest the photo-op.
After my anger subsided, I was asking myself ‘all this for what’? Why was I angry? And why was I blasting though still in controlled manner? Was it because of the repressive emotions related to photo-op who most would think as ‘innocent’? Was it because of the dragging I put with just to please my mother? I don’t know. But I would like to believe that the controlled blasting has something to do with ‘controlling anger’. Something that prevented things to go to a place where there is no return. Something that prevented the harmony from being turned into discord. I see a lot people these loosing their control and just getting physically abusive and using offensive language for petty things. More importantly, the recent spat between traffic cops and public. He is trying to enforce rules. Why are you trying to break in first place? He is taking bribe. Why are you not reporting? There could be so many solutions. Only if these people could just for a minute only control their anger, I think a lot of public spats could be prevented. Why not look for real reasons of your anger and find solutions for them?
Another incident is being childish with my guy. I know my guy is busy and takes time for me. Sometimes he is just worn out but never does let me feel left out. He even spices things by saying somethings that get me irritated. I do get irritated but playfully and fake annoyance. I know he loves this and tries to sooth me. But I feel sometimes, this playfulness gets a bit too far and takes shape of childishness. And this is evident by way he talks and changes the topic.
After sometime, I was asking myself ‘all this for what’? Just to keep mundane things out of the conversation and spice things up? But we get little time to talk and is this childish behavior worth it? Shouldn’t we think about this aspect in our relationships too? A relationship has to many ingredients. Two of them being playfulness and being childlike. There is a fine line between playfulness and annoyance and between being childlike and being childish. Sometimes in eagerness to make our beloved happy we don’t see the fine line and we don’t realize when we are crossing. I may have controlled my anger but I think I haven’t yet been able to see the fine line when playfulness turns into childishness. Hopefully, this time I see the fine line and stop myself from crossing. 🙂
Photo Source: Google Images