Lavanya Opines

Heart Breaks and Desire to Know…

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First of all, my darling girl friend, this post is not based on you. I had this in my mind for quite some time, thinking how many times my heart broke and how I reacted. All this when I wasn’t able to connect with my guy. You know he encourages all this writing and extra curricular activities in me and my mind goes in hyper-active mode when I am not able to connect with him. Just read on and hope this brings smile on you at last.

OK. Ladies and Darlings. We girls go through a lot of breakups in our life until we get married. (May be we get our hearts broke after marriage too but I am not married yet) My guess is that we have more breakups than men. Shouldn’t there be a study to prove it? So I thought (not in sense of proving it) of listing out the various breakups I had (though I had only few) and figuring out ‘desire to know’ the reason of break up. As I stated, break-ups happen at every age and at every stage. There is just no guarantee that it will happen or that it will not happen. Its better nobody gets heart breakup because it’s very very painful. But after some time, when you get over this breakup, you will laugh over your ‘desire to know’ and ‘reasons for the breakup’.

1. Teenage Breakup between 16-19 years – First love. Magic. Everything is new. Life itself is new. New emotions. Nobody knows why we fall in love at this age. Hardly we know what type of guy we want, what do we expect from the guy and more importantly what do we expect from ourselves. But love knows no such logic and rational. So we fall in love. And then we have the heart-break. And a big, profound, and aggressive ‘desire to know’ the answer for ‘why me’, and ‘why did he’, and ‘how could he’. But ladies, its our ‘childish nature’ that breakup happened. You guys are not compatible or better you guys were not able to understand each other. Or my favorites: the other gal/guy is much better than you and deserves them (for worse naturally) or the guy is simply jerk (in case of boys – the girl is stupid). You know, standing at 31 and looking back, it’s still childish. 🙂

2. Young Breakup between 20-26 years – For someone like me its first love. For some others it may not be first love. We may not be experienced in life or love but we definitely know what we want from our life and career. We think that we know the type of guy we want, but we are not sure. We want someone who definitely encourages our career and does not bound us with traditions. This stage is where we know ourselves and our aspirations and our ambitions. But may be we don’t know what type of man we are compatible with. Yet we fall in love. And then we have the heart-break. And a big, profound, and aggressive ‘desire to know’ the answer for ‘why me’ and ‘why did he’, and ‘how could he’. But ladies, it is our ‘knowing ourselves perfectly well’, ‘knowing what we want’, but not able to understand ‘what he wants’. We may think we are good for them but may be it is not the other way round. And we don’t easily accept this. We spend time and efforts in making things work and consequently losing ourselves in the process. At last the time comes when the last our tears have fallen and we are ready to move on. But not before we have inflicted so much pain to ourselves. You know, standing at 31 and looking back, it’s still experience and a story to share with your grand daughters and sons. 🙂

3. Women Breakup between 30 and beyond – Oh yes, fairy tales happen and is happening with me :). But at this stage we not only know ourselves but also know what exactly is love is and what is that makes the relationship going. We cannot explain in words but we know our guy is the one you want to be with, grow old with, and enjoy life through all its crests and troughs, and build a home together. If he is not the guy, then we wouldn’t get serious enough to let him into our life and to let him break our precious heart. So we are wise enough to know the life. And wiser enough to know its the love that is binding us together. We make efforts to know and understand each other. We make efforts to turn each other’s strengths into our own. We make efforts to turn each other’s weakness into things which spice up our love. Yes, there will be difference of opinions but not disagreements. Yes, there will be anger but not resentment. Yes, there will be lows but not low enough from where you cannot crawl back and build home together. For there is only one thing that binds you with him. And that is love. Yet, if still there is a heart-break, there is no ‘desire to know’. Because the only reason we break up is because there is no more love, no more feeling of love. For when love is not there, no other reason matters. For when love is there, no other difference matters.

So ladies and my darling girl friend. Please don’t drain yourself. Pour your heart out. Let the pain come out and not stay in your heart or in your memory. Darling, love will come again. Because when it comes, it never leaves. For there is always a heart out there waiting for your heart. 🙂

P.S.: I deliberately left breakup between 27-30 years because I think in these years we focus more on our career and therefore no time to love or boyfriends 🙂

Photo Source: Google Images


Author: Lavanya

About being lavanya..

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