Lavanya Opines

Why this ruckus about “My Choice”?


my-choice1By now everyone has seen, heard, and read about the two video clips doing the rounds on youtube. One being the VougeEmpower featuring Deepika Padukone and 99 other women and the other one being the male parody of the same. Now most people, including I, have read the criticism the Vogue video is fetching, most notably from Gaurav Arora,, and Piyashree Dasgupta, First Post. (sources of both articles along with other articles are given at the bottom). And poor Deepika is at the receiving end too. Now what I don’t understand is why is everyone so irked and irritated by this Vogue video? Is it hitting the nerves very hard where it hurts most? It definitely seems so.

Lot of talk is about feminism. Lot of talk about ‘sexual choices’ and equating that with love. Focus seems to have shifted only to these two ideas. Everyone has a choice every time as said in Fantastic Four – Rise of Silver Surfer. But we seem to have found three things which do not merit choice – Religion, Sex & Sexuality, Marriage. Utter something about any one of these three things and you are in line of fire. This is evident from the above posts. And to drag Deepika’s professional choices is again a very bad example. I remember TOI making headlines about her dress and pole dancing in Happy New Year. Why don’t people understand that she was playing a character and the dress and pole dancing is required for the character? May be the reason we don’t see cinema as a medium of expression but rather a punching bag to be used as we please.

I wonder had there been no utterance of sex and sexuality in the video, the video would have been a hit. Even the above mentioned authors would have approved it. Sex and sexuality are both personal choices of every human. Whom you want to have sex with, how many times, premarital, post-marital, extramarital. Your damn choice. You want to be homosexual, heterosexual, lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual. You damn choice again. All I can do is support you. I may not understand first. But I will definitely make an effort to understand you, your reasons, and your decisions, and respect the same. I expect the same from you.

You would ask me then are we downgrading our moral values by encouraging extramarital affairs. No I am not. Let me ask you. Why would anybody go out of marriage to seek sexual pleasure? 1. Because sex with spouse is not satisfying for number of reasons. Solution: Talk with your spouse about the same. Research and understand what pleases you. Internet is a good and relevant source with hundreds of medical websites pointing you in right direction. Problem: We don’t talk about sex. 2. Because sex with partner does not involve love. Solution: Talk with your spouse about the same. Research and understand what pleases you. Internet is a good and relevant source with hundreds of medical websites pointing you in right direction. Problem: We don’t talk about sex. The ones who talk have filthy mind.

The choice of education, financial independence, and supporting families are not choices per se. Do you choose to remain uneducated? No. Then, may be you are talking about choosing a stream – engineering, medical, arts, commerce etc. I am doubtful because I choose a stream not because I have choice between choosing engineering, medical, arts, commerce stream but because I have an interest to study that subject. I research about the stream and I make efforts to get into good institution.

We have so many examples of women leaders who are leading the financial institutions such as banks. They wanted to make it big and made it big. They did not choose to either make it big or just be a simple housewife.

Again financially independent and supporting families are more of requirements now a days with increasing prices. True, people and especially women are working as domestic helps and laborers so that their children can educate themselves and come to better positions But then again it is not a choice but lack of resources and finances at their end. Do you mean they have a choice not to let their children study due to lack of resources and finances.

Choice is doing dream job requiring working late or odd hours. Choice is supporting the choice.

Choice is to choose whom you want to marry – the one with beautiful face or the one with golden heart or the one with simple manner or the one with inheritance or the one who is independent.

Choice is either to give gifts (read dowry) or not to give. Choice is either to accept the gifts or not to accept.

Choice is either to make your wife understand the value of parents or to leave her or to move out with her.

Choice is having sex with a man who says he wont marry you but still wants to have sex with you.

This is my choice, my life. I choose to be how my life will be. I choose to take responsibility. The video is all about this. The video is not about feminism , belittling men, or about becoming ‘Charlie Sheen’.

Links for the posts mentioned above:


Author: Lavanya

About being lavanya..

2 thoughts on “Why this ruckus about “My Choice”?

  1. It’s really sad how sex is perceived in India. They say it’s filthy. The one who thinks about is a dirty pervert. Well, hello, our population is 1billion folks. And yes, I stand with My Choice. She did the right thing

  2. Thank you dear.. :).. thank you for liking my posts..

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