Lavanya Opines

Being free even from oneself..

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I have just completed ‘Absolute Khushwant’. It is a simple narrative in first person by Mr. Singh. It is a collection of opinions and ideas about everything in his life, politics, country’s current state of affairs, and so on so forth. It is a good book. I am beginning to think that reading biographies and auto-biographies is not such a bad idea. In fact, it is as much interesting as reading fiction (though I wanted to say more interesting but I haven’t read any other biography I will reserve the comment for later..and also fiction is my first love). The one thing I loved about Mr. Singh is his absolute honesty. No one would be so much honest, even with oneself, about the things that actually matter to the person. He was honest about his views. Other thing I gathered was personal space he created for himself where he wrote. Another thing I gathered is that his higher studies were completed in London. The education system and the way of living abroad changes a conservative perspective and makes one think logically and rationally.

We all are bound by some sort of superficial chains about many things – sex, love, marriage, privacy, personal space, career, aspirations, and ambitions. I have already written about love and marriage a lot. I would write about sex some other time. I would use this post for writing about my views on personal space. In India, as noted by Mr. Singh, concept of privacy is alien. The same can be said about personal space. Nobody understands that personal space of anybody is as important as education. Personal space is required not only physically but also emotionally. Physically, personal space would be a space meant only for you. In this space, one can introspect oneself unbiased. Such a space makes one to objectively think about various aspects of life. I create my personal space everyday in my bedroom just before sleeping. The time between 10 PM to 1 AM offers me solitude to not only think about life but also shape my thinking everyday. My thinking is also shaped by the different books I read. Emotionally, too one needs a personal space. Especially in a relationship. A relationship gets stronger and healthier if personal space is provided for either of the partners. They can grow in the relationship and the relationship can grow with them. Blessed are those who have such a partner. He doesn’t have to say explicitly about taking a personal space or giving you a personal space. He just lets the personal space be created or better he doesn’t invade your personal space. He understands the individual aspects in each of you and slightly hints about which things need to be pushed for and which things shouldn’t be pushed. Moreover, he encourages you to spend sometime alone so that you get don’t overreact on aspects which are disturbing. He may not say about it explicitly but he would do so by his gestures.

Personal space also allows us to separate oneself from all the chains and shackles one creates for oneself or gets entangled in the ones created by others. How we behave with others, talk with others, one can think about all these minor details in the personal space. However, sometimes we often break free only in this personal space. We don’t break free from all the chains we have created in our minds. It is difficult to break the chains which are created by family and society. But it is even more difficult to break the chains that we ourselves tie us with. The chains can be about anything including having a personal space and bravely loving such a person who respects your personal space, for love is not for the weak  heart. Having love in your life is a blessing in itself. Having a love who understand your personal space is divine. Breaking the mold one has set for oneself set you free. Once free, one doesn’t judge anybody irrationally. One develops a logic and rational thinking. I am not talking about those ‘free thinkers’ who have only one ambition in their life to oppose each and everything. I am not opposed to traditions. In fact traditions are best way to know about our culture. I am opposed to those mindless, irrational, illogical things people talk about and stick to in the name of traditions. Breaking free from oneself also needs to overcome such mindless thought procedure. I have come a lot way in breaking free. I still have a long way to go in breaking free. May my partner understand me and my thought process. Amen.


Author: Lavanya

About being lavanya..

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