It’s been six years now that I can, literally say, we have known each other. But the truth is we have started drifting from each other since the beginning of this year. And till now I am saying “we” hiding “you” and “I” underneath it. The gap between the “you” and “I” is piercing my heart every time I say “we”.
I am not a perfect person to love you. I am not a perfect person to understand you. My love for you had shadows in it. My care for you had selfishness embedded in it. My emotions have no hold over them. These are the reasons I was offered before we drifted away.
I saw the void in my life when we drifted away. I couldn’t come to terms either to live with the void or to fill in the void.
I witnessed the shallowness in my life with every moment passing without you. I couldn’t accept the shallowness for the moments can never be lived again.
I stared into the vastness in my life that lay ahead like a brazen field. I couldn’t acknowledge the brazenness in my life for the meadows were waiting to embrace me.
All I could make out that it was you that made me happier.
I looked towards you. You have already put your back towards me and moved ahead. I called you but you were far away to hear me. I walked towards you. I walked briskly towards you all the way trying to change myself.
Now, that I am just few paces behind you, I see you again drifting from me. I don’t understand the reason now for you never said anything. But I am unable to walk anymore towards you. I have changed. Perhaps, you have also changed. Perhaps, you have changed much before we drifted away.
I will never know whether you walked alone or with someone in the eclipse. I will never know whether you changed to walk alone or to walk with someone else. Yes, I have changed for the reason that I am not sure about knowing you.
I am sure that I have changed and therefore, it’s time to leave.
I am sure that I can tender the meadow and therefore, it’s time to leave.
Importantly, I am sure that you don’t need me anymore in your life and therefore, it’s time to leave.
Most importantly, I am sure that I have agreed that you don’t need me anymore in your life and therefore, it’s time to leave.
Good bye, my love.
And, I am sorry for leaving you. Please forgive me my love, for I don’t have the endurance to always walk briskly towards you and yet, not reach you.