Lavanya Opines


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Freedom of Speech & Protest

I am very much disturbed at what has happened at Ramjas College. I was very disturbed when Rohit Vemulla killed himself and issue was politicized. Yet I stayed quite. I was very disturbed when Kanhaiya Kumar was arrested for sedition and news reports emerged that anti-national slogans were shouted in JNU campus. Yet I stayed quite. But this time, things have gone too far.

What is wrong is asking JNU student Umar Khalid in airing his views on ‘Culture of Protest’? Present students are the ones who will be shaping the future of this country. They will become politicians, policy makers, bureaucrats, administrators, and so many other types of professional who will have influence of economic and political situations of the country. Whats wrong then that they want to understand different view points from the same people who were condemned for having different view-point?

Freedom of speech is a constitutionally guaranteed right. Why does it had to be wrapped under ‘nationalism’ and ‘united India’ sentiments? Just because I have some negative opinion about what is currently happening in the country, am I anti-national? Just because I see problems in what you are doing and I express my views about the same, am I anti-national? Just because I have different political view and follow different political ideology, am I anti-national? Just because I want to protest against something, am I anti-national?

Freedom of speech is not only right to express one owns thoughts but also duty to listen to others expressing themselves. Then why Umar Khalid wasn’t even given a chance to say his piece before the students. What would have happened after hearing him? A student, who was condemned as ‘anti-national’ for holding protest, wasn’t allowed to put forth his views before students about ‘protests’; and further protests followed to ‘protest’ this outcome. Is anyone seeing the irony over here.

I am totally upset and disappointed with Randeep Hooda, Virendra Sehwag, and Yogendra Yadav. They seem to have forgotten that entire generations got involved in freedom movement only because of these so-called ‘anti-national’ view points. Our forefathers went to jail for being ‘anti-nationals’ so that we could have ‘freedom of speech’. I am disappointed because in your so called ‘knowledge’ you have forgotten what is a ‘freedom of speech’ after all. Or should I say, we will be soon seeing you endorsing some political parties and therefore these jibes are your way of earning brownie points.

DU, JNU, and Jamia are places where knowledge is gained, where the knowledge is tested and validated against present times by discussions, where views are exchanged to create opinions, break them, and again create new opinions. Unless we speak what is in our minds, how will we know what is right and what is wrong? Unless we discuss different opinions, view points, ideologies, how will we become a democracy?

 

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This is a post filled with negative emotions..

I need to be discreet in this post as the content is potential bomb that has the capability to affect a lot of people, destabilize my career, and damage my financial health. But I want to put forth my negative emotions – anger, bitterness, helplessness, tension, and a lot many other, which I am not able to identify. Just I am sad. Very, very, sad.

I have good experience in varied trades. I am not expert. And I am not jack off all trades either. I know how much I can do and I know how much I can do better. I know my faults and I know shortcomings. Whatever I am, I am self-made. Nobody taught me anything out of sheer interest to teach things. I made mistakes. I was scolded for mistakes. I was told how not to do mistakes but not how to correct them. I learned them myself. But when someone behaves like God, I have attitude problems in accepting such behavior. When someone wags tongue, I have attitude problem in accepting such talk. When someone tries to make me feel guilty, I have attitude problem in accepting such person. When someone doesn’t explain reasons and keep pointing I am a failure, I have attitude problem in accepting such person. When someone doesn’t know how to handle their responsibility and yet throw their position, I have attitude problem in accepting such person. When someone is at a certain senior position or is a client, they seem to forget one thing. With great power comes great responsibility. And I cant do much about my situation because they can screw me bad. I have attitude problems with person who loose faith and confidence in me just because someone has fed them bullshit. I have attitude problems with person who cannot stand on their stand.

Yes, this is a learning phase. But, I am doing very bad right now. I don’t know anything that makes my position strong. I have no clue about how to make myself happy and how to come out with flying colors. All I know is I want to burn out completely and then rise like a phoenix. A process which will take time to slowly burn me out. A process which will break a lot of myths and facades. A process which is painful.

Anyone out there, reading my post and has understood my feelings, please write to me and help me.

 


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My addictions..

Drug addiction. Alcohol addiction. Women addiction. Porn addiction. Sex addiction. There are so many life damaging and life altering addictions. So much has been researched and published about them. So many programs, rehabilitation centers are present to help people to become sober. But I am so away from them. So above them yet so beneath them. The kind of addictions I have, they are type which above the surface seem harmless but beneath the surface, they quietly grip you and suck into darkness. A darkness from which you always come out like you have woken up from a bad dream. Yet damage has been done and life has been altered to a certain degree. Here, I list my addictions after a careful observation of myself by being a mute spectator.

1. Watching idiot box: I become an idiot when I am watching the idiot box. Especially during weekends. I am so sucked into whatever I am watching, that I forget I am watching something. I am just glued to it. Come weekend, and I become a complete idiot. I don’t know why I become such an idiot. If I have to do something, I have to put reminder, switch off the idiot box and do my work. When the idiot box is not behaving idiotically, I am able to gather my self and do something productive on weekends. But then what are weekends for?

2. Over thinking – in both directions: I am piscean. So granted, I am over sensitive. But I over think and keep thinking until I hit a wall and bounce like a ball. Not good for health, especially mental health. Humans, generally use only a small portion of their brains. It seems I abuse more than that in over thinking. But then, its occupational hazard for me not to over think. my job requires me to over think. Everybody in my office does everything “over”.  Negatives wreak my mood and positives make me crazy. But then what is a life without an “over” bit of drama?

3. Giving more: People seek two lines of advice and some lines of solace. I tend to give “more” on both counts. I just feel the flow and flow with it. I forget that I am a person speaking with experience and research I have done so far on various topics (which coincidentally happen to be same topics for which people seek advice and solace), that is actually behind my advice and solace. The reason why people seek my advice in first place. I forget all this after sometime. And I start feeling like I am an individual with shades of Oprah, incarnated on this mortal earth to give mortal some life lessons. Bullshit. I tend to do over everything.  But then who doesn’t want such fame?

What about your addictions? Can you turn them around like I did?